How to Manage a Personal Crisis by Hans Bool

If you observe the media during the crisis they invite more speakers who are extremely bearish. Go with the flow, seems the adagio. It looks reasonable, why would you predict a turn in a depression when there are no signs yet? That is risky.

This is a helpful view on managing a personal crisis. What should you do, how do you manage a personal crisis? Most of us have experienced a crisis and if you know how to handle one, the next is easier. It starts with puberty.

A personal crisis can popup at any moment when you are not prepared for it. It is often due to a combination of circumstances and a personal conflict.

The first step to manage a personal crisis is to acknowledge it. This is a crisis. In Spain the government took quite a while to use the words crisis, begin afraid that it would worsen or hoping it would go away if you do not acknowledge it. But finally they acknowledged it. That moment you are officially in a crisis. You may tell people, or you may try to hide it for others, but people will probably notice.

This first step is important to get over it too. As long as you don't acknowledge it, it may linger on for ever, you feel depressed but you don't understand why.

For the second step, don't try to cheer up your life (yet). If you entered just into a crisis, don't try to get out immediately. Think black. Feel bad. Increase your negative mood, make it (look) worse. It is not important to find a responsible, an external event, relation or an internal conflict. Or a combination. Live your crisis. That serves a purpose. Without crises there is no growth. Do not think like that, but they are part of life. Connect to your feelings and try to make it explicit.

How long will this take? This depends on the crisis and on you. But at some moment in time, you may try to see the bright sight of things. Look at the positive side of what has happened to you. If you have been far away in stage two - you will notice that you have little to loose, because you have lost it already. For some loss this approach will not help. Some loss may change you into a new person and for those extreme situations there is no crisis management guide. Obviously.

But for the more average crisis, if you have experienced one you will perhaps recognize this cycle. After have experienced a few, the whole cycle may take less time. Crisis management may have become part of your life.

H.J.B.

© 2008 Hans Bool

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Strengthening Our Weakness by Steve Wickham

We all suffer crises of the heart or constitution or resolve. Then we find ourselves entering our weakness. Periodically we're singled out for testing and re-proving; this to me seems to be a fact of life for every person. The following aphorism by Balthasar Gracian makes clear sense but I have broken it up into chunks in quotation marks to further explore, 'How we overcome perplexing difficulties in life?'

"In great crises there is no better companion than a bold heart, and if it becomes weak it must be strengthened from the neighbouring parts."

We know it to be nothing short of miraculously inspiring when we conquer difficulties with a bold heart. When we're not so bold, awareness and decisiveness seem to be the keys. My own reasoning suggests the only 'neighbouring part' that might assist the heart during weaker times is the mind; but that the mind might also facilitate other parts. The mind can be helpful because it can be grown strong, decisive, and wilfully patient. Decisiveness, other than awareness, is the big issue here.

"Worries die away before a person who asserts themselves."

Here is a sharp and poignant lesson: Never again should we not assert ourselves. Fear, anxiety and worry all evaporate in the sight of faith--the courage of faith to act beyond what is seen in the here and now. Now it's a matter of training in same. We must repetitively remind, train, even 'brainwash' ourselves to respond with assertion and faith as much as we can when we're confounded with difficulty. As Oswald Chambers said, and I love to quote, "If there is no strain, there is no strength." We cannot overcome if we don't try.

"One must not surrender to misfortune [losing hope], or else it would become intolerable."

What carries on from this is obvious. A sinkhole effect is produced. Simply put, we go down the gurgler. Once we have lost hope our very essence is removed and all meaning disappears. We're forlorn and embanked with sorrow at the soul level. Surrendering to the situation is clearly the wrong thing to do, tactically.

Enter the paradox...

We should surrender however, but... We should surrender only to one thing--the being and will of God; for his grace and strength is more than enough for us. People who know the Holy Spirit and know how to tap into this enormous energy reservoir can do the most miraculous things (with very limited resources) in the name of their God.

"Many people do not help themselves in their troubles, and double their weight by not knowing how to bear them."

Bearing under something takes me directly to the ancient meaning of the equivalent word for patience in Greek. Sometimes what helps is getting out of the way. If we add our own negative perceptions or lack of patience to the problems at hand we make life even harder. Patient endurance is the answer. If we endure the present moment we will live to laugh about it, not regretting our actions, wasted thought or energy.

"The person that knows themself knows how to strengthen his or her weakness, and the wise person conquers everything, even the stars in their courses."

Nothing stands in the way of the person who can (and has) readily strengthened their weakness. And to do this, one must have been courageous enough to get to know their true self intimately, being honest about the faults they saw. This is no small step. It cannot be understated. It's a journey all must take, alone. It takes us a significant portion of courage to bear with the true picture that is "me, and what is my weakness". We don't like to see it. It takes courage to get there and not run away and simply deal with it.

Once we commit to identifying and addressing or strengthening our weaknesses, one at a time, we can grow as persons. That is obvious; though how many people grasp the opportunities? Do you? Will you?

Quotes modified to provide gender inclusivity.

Copyright © 2008, S. J. Wickham. All Rights Reserved Worldwide.

Steve Wickham is a safety and health professional (BSc) and a qualified lay Christian minister (GradDipDiv). His key passion is work / life balance and re-creating value for living, and an exploration of the person within us.

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